Uneasy


'Everytime you smile at someone it is an action of love, a gift to that person, a beautiful thing.'



Its been awhile since i've not updated my blog in fully english. Need inspiration and abnormal aura. 

We wait for good things to happen to us and automatically also wish that bad things will simply go away. Please.

I got so many thoughts in my mind. Many uneasy feelings overwhelmed my heart this lately. I've tried unburdening my thoughts by let it keep in pages. Tried to let it go and empty my mind. But its just useless. Something not right here and there. 

...

Nowadays, we often hear the phrase of 'let it go' all the time. Oh God i wish its was that easy as we blink our eyes. But it is not the easiest concept to grasp or thing to do. We hang on to all kinds of memories and emotions - negative self image, critical thoughts, feelings to all kind of relationships, things we regret, anger at some situation, final exams, all assignment that need to submit by time, and bla blaa.. and the list still go on.. and on.. 

It's not always possible to understand other people's behaviour include ourself. So, rather than working yourself up about finding the right answer, which can drive you mad, learn to let it go. It's kinder to yourself just to begin the work of dealing with your own life, and a more effective way of leaving behind the pain. You can't change the person who hurt you, or what they did. Yes, sometimes people do lie in relationships, but often they will have loved you when they said they did, but their feelings might simply have changed - as painful as that may be to hear. Can you believe it? Please. Just stop torturing yourself, your heart.

That kind of feelings when you're overwhelmed by loss or grief or heartbreak, or feel very angry about something that feels unfair, it can seem unnatural just to let the feelings go. We sometimes want to hold on to them tightly, to try to find explanations, to refuse to forgive, and we stew in our anger and rage in hope that we can magically change what happened. But we cant. And deep down, you know this. It doesnt mean accepting defeat. In fact, if you can do this, you're proving that you are anything but defeated. So let it go. Survive.

At the end of the day, i'm just a normal girl who survived something terrible but still be thankful for all the given. And yes, i keep waiting for the next disaster thing in life (but please no). 

Till then. Keep head held high.


Hard Feeling


"have more than you show, speak less than you know"


Assalamualaikum, maaf sebab dah lama tak update blog. Sorry to those yang always waiting for my upcoming post :b Ha Ha. Sekarang baru ada kesempatan untuk menaip. Pada masa yang sama, assignment usul fikh diletakkan ketepi. Shhh.. ini rahsia kita ye. Saya pegang janji awak semua.

Setiap orang punyai cerita hidup yang berbeza. Jadi siapa kita hendak menilai atau menghukum seseorang itu. Mungkin kau lihat dia kaya, pakaian mahal, juga rupawan sekalipun, belum tentu kehidupan dia sebahagia atau se gah yang kau lihat berbanding dengan orang yang sederhana, rupa pun tiada. Tapi hakikat contohnya, dia la manusia paling bahagia walaupun kehidupannya serba serbi sederhana. Bagaimana terjadinya itu? Tepuk dada, lihat cermin. Mana silap mana kurangnya.

Honestly, aku jenis yang susah untuk percaya orang. Even that person is the closest person with me sekalipun, but still, NAY! I'm just learn from my mistakes and i don't really want to repeat it again and make it become twice. I hate it when people and society keep judging me thru my experience instead of not knowing my past stories. Okay bukanlah maksudnya nak diorang semua tahu kisah lampau. What i mean is, kau tak berhak nak judge orang tu cakap orang tu jahat bla bla sedangkan it must have a reason disebaliknya perwatakan atau sikapnya sebegitu. Macam korang yang suka judge orang ni la. You know why korang suka judge orang? Sebab korang punyai satu rasa cemburu atau tidak puas hati dengan kekurangan yang kau ada atau korang ni jenis yang perasan ingat diri sendiri tu dah cukup bagus. Opss, NO HARD FEELING. Just saying and make it example. I'm not assuming you guys like that. By the way, siapa yang makan cili, dia yang terasa pedasnya. Eh!

Itu soal yang suka menilai orang. Tapi bagaimana pula dengan soal yang mempergunakan kawan? Depan bunga, belakang tahi. Alangkah tenang rasanya apabila orang sekeliling punya hati yang ikhlas untuk berkawan dan bukannya saling berkata atau mengata. Setiap orang berbeza dari segi rupa, perwatakan, hati, dan sebagainya. Cubalah letak ditempat orang yang dianiaya atau teraniaya itu. Sekalipun telah terbukti yang dia bersalah, tapi janganlah sampai memutuskan pertalian ukhuwah. Pergunakan orang dengan niat untuk kepentingan sendiri. Pedih rasanya kalau kebenaran terungkai. Tapi kita perlu yakin percaya pada wujudnya kifarah. What goes around, comes around.

Ini baru bermula sebuah kehidupan. Kalau permulaan kehidupan sudah sepayah ini, bagaimana pula untuk aku hadapi perjalanan hidup yang mendatang? Bukan maksud aku untuk mengalah. Tapi, ini realiti. Kuatnya aku pada luaran, tapi hakikatnya, dalaman aku rapuh. Sering dikatakan bahawa, aku seorang yang suka senyum dan sekalipun tidak pernah tak senyum. Don't you know, senyuman itu punyai seribu satu rasa kesedihan yang disembunyikan? 

Just sharing, thanks for reading.